Looking for full time work is depressing. I know I've been bitching and moaning about looking for a job in a number of my posts, but I can't help it. Even thinking about applying for jobs is enough to make me feel slightly queasy, and that is not an exaggeration. I do honestly feel a sense of dread. I know I've said I try and then stop after 15 odd minutes, but you know why that is? Because it is damn depressing.
Every job I see listed on job sites wants experience. Now how the HELL am I supposed to have 2 or 3 years experience when I'm fresh out of university, eggheads? And hell, the jobs that are for post grads like myself that SEEM to be in line with what I'm after, list skill sets and requirements that I just do not have. What the hell did I do my course at uni for, then? THAT is why I bail after looking for only minutes at a time. It just gets me down.
It also gets me down because, in a way, when I do get a job, I'll you know - get a job. I'll be working. Every day. Of every week. Of every year. For how many years? 20? 25? 30? A bit dramatic I know. Obviously I'll get holidays and whatnot, but damnit I'll be working 95% of every weekday of every year pretty much (I haven't done the math, if I'm wrong, which I probably am, screw it, you know what I mean). But yes. I'll have very little free time to do anything. That's the way it seems to me anyway.
On the flipside, I'll feel like the next phase of my life will begin. Full adulthood. Riding solo. Flying by my own coat tails. Making my own way in the world. Living. I want to move out of home as soon as I can. I know it'll be a massive change. But it's one I want to make, damnit. I want to start this next big stage of my life. I want to start my own, individual, lone-wolf life. For a while. Then meet the right lady. Settle down, etc. Too fast? Meh. That's what i want. Sound sappy? It probably is, but there you go. And I feel comfortable saying that I want to meet Ms Right this (arguably) early in my life. I think that'll make me happiest. I honestly do. And I want a dog too. I big one, not a tiny one. And I will name my dog Snoop, so he'll be, well, Snoop dog. That is not a joke. When I get a dog, which I will - He. Will. Be. Called. Snoop.
So all that's holding me back, peoples, is finding this damn job that will catapult me into the rest of my life. But damnit I want this next stage started. Guess I'll just have to knuckle down and actually start freaking looking.
Wish me luck.
Waiting for the End
Linkin Park
A Thousand Suns, 2010
I know how you feel. Just yesterday I was in the mood for lunch but was too lazy to make it so I just heated up a frozen dinner. The outside of the chicken slices were so hot they scalded my mouth, but the inside still had ice on it. Life can be frustrating sometimes.
ReplyDeleteWhat line of work are you looking into?
Good luck, man.
Something in IT hopefully. In the government would be good as well 'cos of all the benefits and the job security, but mostly because I think saying to a chick "Ma'am, I'm with the government," is one of the hottest pick-up lines ever.
ReplyDeletegood luck on finding ms right and snoop! :D
ReplyDelete